My Calling.

My love has been in Florida this week

and i miss him.

but i'd much rather be at home doing what i do

cuz he's sitting in conference all day long.

which brings me to this picture. some texts from yesterday.

go ahead. enjoy the craziness.

 that's my everyday.

envy the poop in the tub

or the adorable girl with the chopped bangs.

all of which resulted in me sanitizing the bath toys, the tub,

and vacuuming up hair that didn't need to be. 

that precious white hair.

(and yes, I'm aware hair grows back. I have it. lots of it.)

NONE of that was on the TO-DO list for the day!

BUT that's my every day. 

Always things to do...places to go...people to call and serve. The list goes on. 

AND ON.

BUT I have a calling far greater than any of that right now.

And that's to

the little ones that are in my home.

I turn a lot of social opportunities down because of this.
Don't get me wrong...I do stuff! Plenty.
 AND I also provide my kids with plenty social opportunities,
BUT if i schedule too much or try to make it to every little thing that comes my way...
that special time is taken away!
 My time to sit down and really pray with my kids,
to share scripture stories,
and to show them pictures of Jesus
and tell them about how much He loves them
IS GONE.
AND forget about sitting down with them to pretend play with princesses
 or to really look into their beautiful eyes
and study their soul (which I LOVE to do);
IT'S ALL TAKEN AWAY.
All because I'm rushing around trying to find socks and lost shoes
to get us out the door by such and such time to get to ________ (you fill in the blank).
I honestly and truly love being at home.
These days will soon be gone. And it's starting to sink-in.

THIS is one of my favorite quotes right now.

Perfectly stated.

I know you want to PIN it on PINTEREST.

So here's the link.

OR

You can read the talk that it came from...

CHILDREN by Neil L. Anderson

I am grateful for tender mercies that come when needed.

The other night was a special one for me.

It had been a LONG day--Evan's first day away.

But I felt strength beyond my own while taking care of my littles.

I fed them dinner early and we took our time getting ready for bed.

We read stories for an HOUR.

Needless to say...I was tired. I had given my all and much more to my kids.

When it came time to actually going to bed, Brampton started to get emotional and rubbing his eyes. He rubs his eyes a lot when he gets sad.

ANYWAYS

He went to get a drink of water from downstairs and

when he returned, he had tears running down his cheeks.

He asked me to say a prayer that he might not be sad that his dad was gone
and that he would be able to sleep.

And he wanted me to pray immediately!

I was touched. My little boy, who's about to be baptized, KNOWS that he can pray to his Heavenly Father at anytime and his prayer will be heard AND answered. 

As a mother, THAT was truly priceless. 

He understands what we have been teaching.

Not only that, but he's acting in FAITH.

As he and I knelt in prayer by his bed, I will never forget the sobs I heard coming from Brampton. 

And then as I finished praying, the huge tears coming down his cheeks. 

I wanted to take all his pain away.
BUT
that's the point of this mortal life, to be tried and tested.
WHICH
makes me all the more grateful for the gift of prayer.

I am grateful to have a loving Heavenly Father and Savior, Jesus Christ.
And because of The Atonement, Brampton's heartache could be taken away.

AND that night, our prayer was answered immediately! 

All his sadness was replaced by the Spirit ...and laughter as noted in the picture above.
And that was just what this mom needed, tho I did not know it at the time.
Tender mercies are real.
AND
Miracles happen every day.
(No worries Brampton, you have already given me my Mother's Day gift!)

Days that have since passed

It's amazing what a picture can do to your memory and senses.

I look at this and immediately have fond memories. But I can also smell the spit-up that covered my shirt. Believe it or not, I sometimes wish I could go back to this time of our family's life...just to hold my babies a bit longer, to kiss their cheeks and to smell the tops of their heads. I do love babies! Looking at this picture, I remember this night very well... Evan had come home from school, ate a quick dinner and rushed out the door to Mutual. He was Young Men's President at the time. Nights were always difficult then. Everyone was always fussy and needed to be loved. Such a task is difficult for one person to fill especially after doing it all day long. BUT like it or not, that night I was left to tend to everyone's needs on my own. There was no normal routine that night. As one can imagine. Cardston fell asleep on the floor under my legs while I fed the girls. Brampton was almost there. And the girls were finally drunk on milk and ready for a few hours of sleep. I remember stepping back to document this crazy time and thinking ...I did it! I can do this all by myself! It wasn't perfect. But that's ok. We're all alive and well.
Every day was a new challenge and each passing day was an accomplishment.

BUT I also feel the anxiety that came with that season of my life...

Days of four little kids all under 5.

With little/no sleep.

Days where the boys were so patient with me as I nursed pretty much ALL.DAY.LONG.

Days where my boys watched lots of shows b/c I only had two arms...and those were full.

Days of loving two babies.

Days and nights of nursing two babies at once.

Days of two crying babies by myself with two rowdy boys.

Days of wearing big t-shirts and smelling like spit-up.

Days of no showers.

Days of a messy house.

Days of LOADS and LOADS of laundry.

Days of soda in my fridge and lots of breast milk in my freezer.

Days of a few tears shed here and there by me.

Since days are gone. They have left scars on parts of my body and my heart.

I know that in the next life, I will visit these days often. Because they were my favorite!

These were GREAT days.

They were never easy.

BUT I was doing what I love most and that made it all worth it.

One thing is for sure...I know that there were unseen angels that were by my side daily. I felt their presence. And I know that one of them was my grandmother-Ellen Peterson. I have felt her near me many times since her passing in 2009. I am ever so grateful for those who minister to us during times of need from the other side. 

I want my family to know that I am thankful for the opportunity to be a mother...though some days would suggest otherwise. I AM. It's all I can think about most days.

In life all must choose at times. Sometimes,

two possibilities are good; neither is evil.

Usually, however, one is of greater import than

the other. When in doubt, each must choose

that which concerns the good of others--the

greater law--rather than that which chiefly

benefits ourselves--the lesser law. The greater

must be chosen whether it be law or thing. -John A. Widtsoe

As a mother, I am striving to choose the greater law--my family.

I am thankful for the family Evan and I have been blessed with.

I am grateful for blessing it is to hold them, to see them, to smell them and to hear what they say.

They are my greatest treasures.

And always will be.

These were and are the best days!!

Great days...that continue TO BE every day that I am with them!

His Super Duper Big Problem

My first baby is growing up. Big time! He's about to turn 8.

This boy has taught me so much about being a mom!

  He's no longer the cute "little dude" fascinated in Barry the Bee and Disney's Cars

He's now a handsome 2nd grader! And full of so much life...he can hardly contain himself! Which brings me to the point of this blog entry...HIS super duper big problem.

I'm obviously not the only one that thinks this boy is handsome. 

Brampton came running out of school the other day. I could tell he was anxious about something. He said he has a super duper big problem (all out of breath)! After I loaded everyone into the car, he began to fill me in on the problem. Supposedly, there's this girl in his class that is smitten by his toothless grin. She wrote in her journal that she wants to marry Brampton and have babies with him. 

When he told me this I thought...WHAT?? ON?? EARTH?? She's in flippin' 2nd grade. She's thinking about babies already?? Poor Brampton is sickened by the fact that she likes him. She chases him and tries to kiss him...which has him all nervous. He doesn't like girls in that way. He doesn't want to kiss anyone. And well...he's just innocent. He's pure...obedient...always seeking to do what's right. He has a spirit of a saint! He sees things as they are. Everything is black and white to him. He reads the Book of Mormon all on his own doing because he wants to. Talk about an awesome example! She-sh!

I wrote THIS ENTRY years ago. And I've found myself reading it...and re-reading it as of late. I've been pondering on the fact that THE moment has finally come. And it's for his own good. As a mother...THIS IS IMPORTANT to me!

Finding Joy in My Everyday Mom Moments.

Let me start off by saying...that I may have broken a law by snapping this picture in the carpool lane...? But let's hope not!

THIS right here is a favorite of mine! ...watching my boys walk into school. I love taking the boys to school and dropping them off for the day. I am so thankful that I am able to be a stay-at-home mom and to treasure these little moments!!

I LOVE...

*waking the boys up

*hearing them ask me what day it is and if they have to go to school

*watching them walk downstairs with their favorite animals under their arms

*seeing them sit at the table not quite awake but patiently waiting for their breakfast

*fixing them breakfast

*Cardston asking me not to watch him eat

*packing their snacks

*telling them they need to be done eating and to start getting dressed

*putting the toothpaste on their toothbrushes

*getting their clothes ready and laid out for them to put on

*telling them over and over to hurry up

*telling Cardston again and again to get dressed

*telling Cardston to brush his teeth

*telling Cardston to get his shoes on

*telling Cardston to get his backpack on

*praying with them 

*loading into the car in a hurry

*sharing scriptures on the 5 minute drive to school (they're currently being quizzed on "If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God..." James 1:5)

*Cardston saying Mom and then showing me the sign for "I love you" as he exits the car. It's our "thing".

*watching Brampton wait for Cardston to get out of the car

*watching them walk into the school...together. I often wonder what cute little conversations they have as they walk in. 

*how some days Brampton will race down the sidewalk as I drive off...the smile on his face is priceless!! It always fills my heart with joy.

Now, yes...sometimes it is tedious work. Let's be honest...it's the same thing every single day. And it's tiring. The reminding gets old. The rushing to get out the door is both nerve-racking and exhausting. But when I start thinking or feeling this way (ungrateful)...I realize I have become blinded again. I have to remind myself that not every mom is able to do what I do. These moments ARE my mom moments. And I am truly blessed. I love being a mom to Brampton, Cardston, Payton, and Brooklynn. If  I were to die, who would take my place? Who would love and care for my children as I do? If I were to lose any one of my children...I would long with all my heart for these simple moments. To be with them. To take care of them. To be their mom. And with that...I'm working on finding joy in the small everyday moments. 

......

AND ON A SIDE NOTE 

These boys truly are best friends! I love it. I am so thankful that Brampton and Cardston were both sent to our family when they were. I know that they will find strength in one another as they get older and make their own choices. These boys are truly going to "move mountains". I see it in them every day. 

I love you Brampton.

AND

I love you Cardston.

dumb and dumber

so yesterday i had the burning desire to paint our garage

out of nowhere

i just up and decided to buy some paint and paint the garage...of ALL PLACES. but i just can't look at the walls anymore...all unfinished and ugly. i was going to put the boys to work painting...but decided that might give me a heart attack (PAINT + TWO BOYS = HUGE DISASTER)...so i convinced them to ride bikes instead. you'll have to excuse their naked-ness...i had them strip-down in order paint. and i am slightly white trash, i suppose, for letting my children play outside in such nudity. thank goodness we only have ONE neighbor at the moment. i say...let them think what they want. any who...i took a break only to find these TWO doing what they do best...being hilarious! or at least i think so. there's never a dull moment around here.

and just b/c i like looking back...remember THIS wordless wednesday?

a love note.

honestly, it doesn't get any better than this!

my first little love note from brampton. and look at the cute little heart he included. he's the sweetest.

have i mentioned lately, that i love him??

or that i love being a mom?

i do.

it's hard. very hard. and i struggle with it every day.

BUT...i wouldn't want to be doing anything else.

I love being a stay at home mom.

and i'm so grateful that i am able to do so.

welcoming spring with open arms!

 would you believe me if i said that we're already swimming?? yep. we are. well sort of. we broke out the pool last weekend. and today...get this...it's going to reach 90 degrees. talk about a little too warm for April 1st. but that's just my opinion.

evan has been doing his general surgery rotation this past month. not my favorite. only b/c he's on call every 4th night (i've been one lonely momma)...and let me just enlighten you all...that means that he goes into work at 5:00 pm and is there working all.night.long. no rest. and does not return until 11:00 am-12:00 pm the next day. count it. 18 hours. that's a long time! not to mention that he never sleeps before he goes in...not exactly sure how he does it...but he does! this guy continues to amaze me everyday. i on the other hand cannot go without at least 8 hours of sleep. well. ok i can, but that's when i turn ugly. ANYWAYS...on this day evan was sleeping (hence the long explanation) and so we tried to let him rest by playing outside. after about an hour of riding bikes it was decided by their bright red faces and sweaty hair that it was time! swimming season has begun...well for them.

 my curious little payton. she loved dipping her hands in the water.

and then sucking the water off her hands. yucko i know. but when you've got four kids...two of which are boys and two are twins...you can't control everything that happens. i've learned to chill out a bit. maybe...hopefully. 

 and then there was more.

 and more! honestly...she's the cutest thing ever.

cardston had to join in on the fun too with a little bit of splashing

 which brings a smile to payton's face (most of the time)...she loves her brothers!

can't you tell!

Yay for spring...or if you're in texas, summer.

and hopefully (cross your fingers), yay to better work hours. we're ready to be on a normal schedule!!

valentine preps.

let me start out by saying...i'm so ready for valentine's to be over! seriously. i've been planning and preparing for this day for a month now. in fact the other day ev asked me if "we" (meaning ME) could take a break from crafts for a little while! ha! i agreed. b/c my kitchen has turned into my craft room! i crafted all through christmas...new years...the girls' birthday...and now valentine's. i think the hubby is a little tired of my crazy messes...hint hint...all over the house (as am i).

 we made lots of heart-felt valentine's for our loved ones.

we made our first ever valentine box with brampton. this was so NOT my idea. found here, on pinterest of course. i've had my eye on this monster box for years now...and we were finally able to create it this year.

and i'm sure you'll recognize these. those cute little mailboxes! love them. and love me the dollar section at target! i see them there every year around this time. i've justified buying them many times, but haven't...that is until this year. ev told me that he was pretty sure the mailboxes were having babies b/c every time he looked at my craft mess area...there were more and more mailboxes! i chuckled...and still am! i made about TWELVE of these adorable things. yeah, now you know why i'm so done crafting valentines.

now lets get on with it...

Happy Valentine's Day!!

 (as my computer now says that it's officially 12:00 am)

what fun traditions does your family do for V-day b/c i really want to start some and need ideas??

warm fuzzies.

i know, i know...ridiculous. i was in a hurry...hence the not so good "i love you" sign. but it's the thought that counts, right? i have always loved the idea of a little surprise note in a lunchbox. you know...some nice warm fuzzies to fill you up while you're away from home. come on...it's cute. i've been doing it sporadically this year for brampton. i hope he'll remember these. i try to be creative...if anything i hope it at least brings a smile to his face. if you have been following our blog, you'll know that brampton was diagnosed with a speech delay back in the day. he seriously didn't speak a word. so we signed. lots and lots of cute little brampton signing. that's how he communicated until the age of three when he started speaking in paragraphs! ha. so sign language is kind of our little thing. anyway, back to this particular note...before school i showed him the picture before placing it in his lunchbox. i asked him what it meant and he did his cute little bashful smile. he said mom loves me and i love mom. i knew it had melted his heart and sent warm fuzzies his way and i hoped he would feel my love as he looked at it later that day. well...i'm pretty sure all those warm fuzzies went out the window at lunch time b/c brampton came home and told me that everyone laughed at it. i guess they crinkled it into a ball and were playing keep away. brampton was really upset about it all. really?? already...in kindergarten they make fun of each other for things such as this?? come on. the last thing i wanted was for him to get made fun of. the thought really just makes me sick.

Wordless Wednesday

(found THIS on ev's iphone)

back to the old grind.

This morning was a rough one in the Stout house! Only because this little boy did NOT want to go to school. B's Christmas break is officially over. And boy, this kid didn't want to get out of bed!! I was shocked...Brampton loves school and he is so not one to sleep-in. I seriously had no idea how to help him out this morning. I was trying my best to be positive for him...but really, I felt for my boy. I didn't want to be the mean mom that told him he HAD to get out of bed....had to eat his captain crunch cereal FAST....had to go to the bathroom...had to take off his jammies....had to put on the shirt that he did not want to wear (b/c it has buttons)...had to brush his teeth...had to get his shoes on...had to get the coat on that he was refusing to wear...had to get in the car....had to get his seat belt on...had to go to school again...and THEN....had to say "no, you can't take mr. elephant with you". While driving him he kept saying...I don't want to go to school. I want to go back to Amazing Jake's. 

I felt so torn as I tried to be strong and supportive to my child. I understand that I am teaching him many lessons about life...BUT I know exactly how he felt. I too have experienced this many times. Poor kid. My heart broke as I dropped him off and watched him walk into school, LATE (AGAIN for the 100th time...worst mom ever).

Here's to hopefully a better start tomorrow...someone please tell me...what do you do??

Merry and Bright.

love the Stout family

one FULL tub!

It's been far too long, huh? Did you miss these cute faces?

btw...bathing four kids is exhausting. maybe that's why i don't blog anymore...not enough time.

Some nasty crusty crusts.

So remember how Brampton started kindergarten this year?? Oh wait...of course you don't! Slacker me...I have yet to blog about that. Well he did and he LOVES it. No surprise there. He loves to learn. Anyways...

...so this nasty picture. Yes...it is nasty and to think that this is my son! Brampton. Poor kid. He came home from school last Wednesday with a fever (which has spread like wild fire to the rest of us). And then up popped this rash. I immediately thought it was the chicken pox, but Evan seems to think that it's hand, foot and mouth disease or impetigo. Lovely. Now, remember that Brampton has asthma, eczema, peanut allergies, all kinds of allergies for that matter and is unable to get a flu shot b/c of these allergies. Needless to say...his immune system is slightly weak. Which means that this kid comes home with everything....spreading it to the rest of my little ones. And by the time we all get better....we start all over again! kindergarten has been a scary one for me....you know with all the nasty germs that kids share...the thought of it keeps me up at night and gets my ocd all in a tizzy. So let me make a shout out to all you moms....TEACH YOUR CHILDREN TO WASH THEIR HANDS...OFTEN!!  

My poor kid is really self conscious about it. He keeps asking if we can clean the crusty crust off his chin. Before school today he said he couldn't go because of his bad rash. And after picking him up from school today, I asked him if anyone asked him about his face (just curious if he was teased), he said they asked what happened to him. His reply..."my skin is falling off".

Brampton

Also known as Button. Not for that cute button-nose of his, but because that's what Cardston would call him before he could fully pronounce Brampton. And it stuck. Button he is. Our little button.

I can't imagine my life without him. In fact, I feel like I have known him my whole life. This little boy, who has only been on this earth for 5 years, has taught me SO much in such a short amount of time. He is unique. His own little person and someone I look up to...not down. He is so full of light and laughter. He has this giggle that is beyond contagious. He LOVES to learn. Boy that's an understatement. He's always curious and asks why, what and how ALL the time. Although sometimes this can be bothersome, I LOVE it. And as his mother, I find great joy in answering all his questions. Just yesterday he asked me (while driving in the car...shortly after a bird pooped on the window), "mom, do birds call cars their potties?". And not too long ago Brampton asked Evan, "what's in our hearts, dad?" Evan's answer...blood of course; with a puzzled look Brampton replied, "oh I thought it was LOVE".

His favorite things right now:

*playing the Wii. especially with his dad. He loves Lego Star Wars and Madagascar

*anything red and gold. his eyes are drawn to all things red and gold and has to have them.

*mr. elephant. and b still rubs mr. e's eyes while falling asleep. something he has done since he was a wee little one.

*tools. not just any tool...shiny silver ones. We went to Home Depot and B asked Evan and I for a $20 pack of wrenches. He said he needed them because he loves shiny things.

*playing at the park. we've been going to the park almost every day the past few weeks.

*music. he loves to dance and is a pretty good dancer.

*his little cpo. aka c-3po. I think he loves it b/c it's little and gold.

*his dad. b loves his dad. it's cute. the other night Brampton said, "dad, are we best friends?".

*song...Popcorn Popping

*scripture story...Samuel the Lamanite

*string cheese, cocoa puffs, chocolate shakes, and McDs' chicken nuggets

*last but not least, his imaginary friend....the WIND GUY. Yes, those two have many adventures together.

I love watching my little boy be so helpful with the girls. He is always so willing to get me diapers and wipes and then throw them away. My favorite is when I ask him to get one of the girls their binkies when crying. He's always so sweet to them. He'll talk to them to calm them down. And lately he enjoys getting them to laugh. That's just as adorable. The girls love B!

Brampton, you are a sweet heart. You are so caring and loving. You are a perfect example of charity. You are so Christ-like. And you make me want to be a better person and mother each and every day.

Home Depot Kids Workshop

Did you know that the Home Depot has Kid Workshops??

They do! And it's FREE. Even better. They are held on the FIRST Saturday of every month. Between 9 am-12 pm.

Check your local store.

The boys thoroughly enjoyed using real hammers and watching the nails go down and down into the wood. And then they were a little crazy with the paint. Brampton painted his flower box PINK of all colors. I'm assuming it's because that was the closest color to red that was available. Home Depot even provided soil and flowers to be planted in them.

We're headed there tomorrow morning to check out the next project!!

Celebrating CINCO.

Well Brampton's birthday was a success! He went to sleep that night within seconds of hitting the pillow and was all smiles. Here are some pictures of how he spent the evening. BBQ hot dogs and hamburgers...root beer...bikes...cake...and to top it off, playing Star Wars on the Wii with Dad. He LOVES his new bike and "hat". And he's been begging to ride bikes everyday since. Any excuse to be outside is fine with me!! Especially with the NICE temperatures we have been enjoying the past few days.
Make a wish!!
Here's to an AWESOME year of LOTS of LEARNING and all sorts of NEW EXPERIENCES. Tear. Not so sure I'm ready for the whole Kindergarten thing. But one thing is for sure...HE IS. We've been spending our days working really hard on workbooks and memorization. 911...check. Phone number...check. Address...check. First and last name...check check. Potty...check. Numbers...check. Letters and sounds...check check. Shapes...check. Colors...check. Same and different concept...check. And for fun...1st Article of Faith...double check. One thing he needs to learn and practice...tying his shoe laces. All he wears are flip flops. I guess I need to buy some shoes with laces!

And if you're curious about what your child should know and be able to do before kindergarten, go here.

Happy Birthday Brampton!!

Last night after the boys and lil' girls went to sleep, Evan and I decorated the house. Red, blue and orange streamers are hanging everywhere along with some signs and a pretty awesome looking table covered in confetti. The boys woke up bright and early this morning. They were ecstatic! They ran up and down the stairs checking out the birthday decor. Brampton asked if it was FINALLY his birthday. Sure enough...May 2nd has arrived. And my lil boy is turning FIVE. Brampton requested DONUTS for breakfast (his favorite). Easy enough. We loaded everyone up and headed to Shipley's. The birthday boy enjoyed TWO chocolate glazed donuts along with his brother. I'm not even going to tell you what all I ate...too much. I'm a donut lover as well. And as we stuffed our faces, Evan and I discussed the latest news...has Bin Laden really been killed??
We then proceeded to Wal-mart, where we picked up our site-to-store purchase. For the lil' dude of course. A brand new BIKE!! We returned home and Evan began assembling the RED and GOLD two wheeler (B's favorite colors) along with his two helpful sons.
We also swung by the post office to pick up Brampton's birthday package from Kansas gamma and gampa!! This has been his favorite part of the day. Thanks mom and dad.
He finally has the Pillow Pet that he's been begging me for...the RED lady bug. The presents were immediately put to use...he watched Despicable Me while laying on his new pillow. And before Dad went to work...we all enjoyed Brampton's favorite...McD's. That's a whole lot of JUNK food in one day. Good thing he has a bike to burn off all those calories! Speaking of which, we're off to test it out.

Turning FIVE.

My lil' dude turns FIVE today!! Hip Hip Hooray!! And to celebrate...I thought I would post a TON of pictures of him.

I love you Brampton. Happy BIRTH-day to you!