Days that have since passed

It's amazing what a picture can do to your memory and senses.

I look at this and immediately have fond memories. But I can also smell the spit-up that covered my shirt. Believe it or not, I sometimes wish I could go back to this time of our family's life...just to hold my babies a bit longer, to kiss their cheeks and to smell the tops of their heads. I do love babies! Looking at this picture, I remember this night very well... Evan had come home from school, ate a quick dinner and rushed out the door to Mutual. He was Young Men's President at the time. Nights were always difficult then. Everyone was always fussy and needed to be loved. Such a task is difficult for one person to fill especially after doing it all day long. BUT like it or not, that night I was left to tend to everyone's needs on my own. There was no normal routine that night. As one can imagine. Cardston fell asleep on the floor under my legs while I fed the girls. Brampton was almost there. And the girls were finally drunk on milk and ready for a few hours of sleep. I remember stepping back to document this crazy time and thinking ...I did it! I can do this all by myself! It wasn't perfect. But that's ok. We're all alive and well.
Every day was a new challenge and each passing day was an accomplishment.

BUT I also feel the anxiety that came with that season of my life...

Days of four little kids all under 5.

With little/no sleep.

Days where the boys were so patient with me as I nursed pretty much ALL.DAY.LONG.

Days where my boys watched lots of shows b/c I only had two arms...and those were full.

Days of loving two babies.

Days and nights of nursing two babies at once.

Days of two crying babies by myself with two rowdy boys.

Days of wearing big t-shirts and smelling like spit-up.

Days of no showers.

Days of a messy house.

Days of LOADS and LOADS of laundry.

Days of soda in my fridge and lots of breast milk in my freezer.

Days of a few tears shed here and there by me.

Since days are gone. They have left scars on parts of my body and my heart.

I know that in the next life, I will visit these days often. Because they were my favorite!

These were GREAT days.

They were never easy.

BUT I was doing what I love most and that made it all worth it.

One thing is for sure...I know that there were unseen angels that were by my side daily. I felt their presence. And I know that one of them was my grandmother-Ellen Peterson. I have felt her near me many times since her passing in 2009. I am ever so grateful for those who minister to us during times of need from the other side. 

I want my family to know that I am thankful for the opportunity to be a mother...though some days would suggest otherwise. I AM. It's all I can think about most days.

In life all must choose at times. Sometimes,

two possibilities are good; neither is evil.

Usually, however, one is of greater import than

the other. When in doubt, each must choose

that which concerns the good of others--the

greater law--rather than that which chiefly

benefits ourselves--the lesser law. The greater

must be chosen whether it be law or thing. -John A. Widtsoe

As a mother, I am striving to choose the greater law--my family.

I am thankful for the family Evan and I have been blessed with.

I am grateful for blessing it is to hold them, to see them, to smell them and to hear what they say.

They are my greatest treasures.

And always will be.

These were and are the best days!!

Great days...that continue TO BE every day that I am with them!