The TWINS are THREE.

THREE. Can it really be...? My chunky babies are now three!! They are no longer referred to as "the girlies". They each have their own little personality and opinions and have moved on to much more fitting names,

Paypay & Deedee

Nicknames are pretty common in the Payzant family. It's just what we do. I suppose we just like to get creative with the ones we love. And it makes perfect sense that my own children now do it with one another. My nickname as a child was Lala. My dad still calls me lala at the age of 31. And I LOVE IT. It's a way of expressing our love and unites us.

Anyways...paypay. That was started by me...somehow, one day. It actually started as Pay and went to PeiWei but that was weird to me. So then I doubled it up...PAYPAY. It seemed to be perfect for her. Deedee was started by Paypay. She came up with that on her own. Obviously Brooklynn is too hard for a little girl with a speech delay to pronounce. So, Deedee it is! And it goes perfectly with Paypay. And they have both stuck! We no longer call them Payton and Brooklynn really, unless they do something really, really NAUGHTY.

 Their birthday was pretty low-key. As are most holidays and birthdays around our house. We have learned to be flexible and accommodating with dad's doctor schedule. We always celebrate as a family (sometime), but usually days later when dad is home and well rested.

Which brings me back to THEIR birthday. It was low-key because well I'm a single parent most of the time (at least when Evan is on his trauma rotation) and when you're a single mom, doing everything, going none stop for days...weeks...months...and even years at a time...you just can't do it all.
That being said, I tried to make it different from the norm in little ways.

The girls woke-up to balloons tied to their beds! The boys and I actually tip-toed into their room early so that we could witness their reaction. Priceless, I tell you!

 Pure joy and happiness written all over those sweet, sleepy faces!

We sang happy birthday to them A LOT that day. Their reaction: lots and lots of giggling.

The girls being goofs. Monkey see, monkey do. Always.

Enjoying their favorite breakfast on their special day: maple pancakes with syrup and whipped cream on top.

Opening presents in pajamas. Sounds good to me!

To make them feel special and loved, I pampered them by painting all 20 toenails and 20 fingernails! Which is something that doesn't happen as often as they would like, because it is NO easy task. But fingernail polish we did. And we fancied them up with the curling iron. Throw on a ballerina shirt and skirt...and these two little girls were in their own personal birthday heaven.

And because of all the fancy-ing, we had to take some 3 year old pictures to document.

Trying to take pictures of these two together is a joke! 

Happy 3rd birthday to my little princesses!!

I LOVE YOU GIRLS. ALWAYS HAVE...EVEN BEFORE I MET YOU HERE ON THIS EARTH. THANK YOU FOR BLESSING MY EVERY DAY.

.....

Look at that good-looking bunch! They are my loves and my greatest treasures on this earth. The awesome thing is...I get to take them all to Heaven with me! What we've got...money can't buy! 

Days that have since passed

It's amazing what a picture can do to your memory and senses.

I look at this and immediately have fond memories. But I can also smell the spit-up that covered my shirt. Believe it or not, I sometimes wish I could go back to this time of our family's life...just to hold my babies a bit longer, to kiss their cheeks and to smell the tops of their heads. I do love babies! Looking at this picture, I remember this night very well... Evan had come home from school, ate a quick dinner and rushed out the door to Mutual. He was Young Men's President at the time. Nights were always difficult then. Everyone was always fussy and needed to be loved. Such a task is difficult for one person to fill especially after doing it all day long. BUT like it or not, that night I was left to tend to everyone's needs on my own. There was no normal routine that night. As one can imagine. Cardston fell asleep on the floor under my legs while I fed the girls. Brampton was almost there. And the girls were finally drunk on milk and ready for a few hours of sleep. I remember stepping back to document this crazy time and thinking ...I did it! I can do this all by myself! It wasn't perfect. But that's ok. We're all alive and well.
Every day was a new challenge and each passing day was an accomplishment.

BUT I also feel the anxiety that came with that season of my life...

Days of four little kids all under 5.

With little/no sleep.

Days where the boys were so patient with me as I nursed pretty much ALL.DAY.LONG.

Days where my boys watched lots of shows b/c I only had two arms...and those were full.

Days of loving two babies.

Days and nights of nursing two babies at once.

Days of two crying babies by myself with two rowdy boys.

Days of wearing big t-shirts and smelling like spit-up.

Days of no showers.

Days of a messy house.

Days of LOADS and LOADS of laundry.

Days of soda in my fridge and lots of breast milk in my freezer.

Days of a few tears shed here and there by me.

Since days are gone. They have left scars on parts of my body and my heart.

I know that in the next life, I will visit these days often. Because they were my favorite!

These were GREAT days.

They were never easy.

BUT I was doing what I love most and that made it all worth it.

One thing is for sure...I know that there were unseen angels that were by my side daily. I felt their presence. And I know that one of them was my grandmother-Ellen Peterson. I have felt her near me many times since her passing in 2009. I am ever so grateful for those who minister to us during times of need from the other side. 

I want my family to know that I am thankful for the opportunity to be a mother...though some days would suggest otherwise. I AM. It's all I can think about most days.

In life all must choose at times. Sometimes,

two possibilities are good; neither is evil.

Usually, however, one is of greater import than

the other. When in doubt, each must choose

that which concerns the good of others--the

greater law--rather than that which chiefly

benefits ourselves--the lesser law. The greater

must be chosen whether it be law or thing. -John A. Widtsoe

As a mother, I am striving to choose the greater law--my family.

I am thankful for the family Evan and I have been blessed with.

I am grateful for blessing it is to hold them, to see them, to smell them and to hear what they say.

They are my greatest treasures.

And always will be.

These were and are the best days!!

Great days...that continue TO BE every day that I am with them!

What she loves...

Oh Payton. I love you.

I love your sweet personality.

I love your quirkiness.

I love your attitude.

I love the sound of your voice.
I love the things you say.

 I love watching you.
I love how you pretend and always have something going on in your head.

You are one creative girl and it shows!

I however, really don't like how you change 30 times a day!

You have me cleaning more messes and doing more laundry than I need to. 

But since I'm your mom and I love you, I'll continue to have a messy house and do more laundry.

mugga mugga sweet girl!

Just For Fun: The Carwash

forget dishes.

I'd much rather have a sink full of these babies any day!

aren't they adorable??

yep. they are.

and i love me some naked-ness

 baby nakedness that is

and i would much rather bathe babies all day.

i'd take a sink full of babies over dishes any day. i hate dishes. well...a sink full of dishes that is. it's painful to my eyes. only b/c i know that there's work to be done.

and it's never-ending!

each.and.every.minute.of.the.day.

Enjoy these pics while i go clean up...can u guess?? DISHES.

pay pay steps.

in true stout fashion, payton has begun taking steps!

brampton and cardston both started walking at about 14 months...and pay pay is following in their footsteps, literally.

 Brooklynn on the other hand...well...is brooki. shes got her own agenda. all in due time i suppose. but i'm thinking she'll start here soon...

life with twins is about to get a little easier (i think)...no more carrying two babies at once.

welcoming spring with open arms!

 would you believe me if i said that we're already swimming?? yep. we are. well sort of. we broke out the pool last weekend. and today...get this...it's going to reach 90 degrees. talk about a little too warm for April 1st. but that's just my opinion.

evan has been doing his general surgery rotation this past month. not my favorite. only b/c he's on call every 4th night (i've been one lonely momma)...and let me just enlighten you all...that means that he goes into work at 5:00 pm and is there working all.night.long. no rest. and does not return until 11:00 am-12:00 pm the next day. count it. 18 hours. that's a long time! not to mention that he never sleeps before he goes in...not exactly sure how he does it...but he does! this guy continues to amaze me everyday. i on the other hand cannot go without at least 8 hours of sleep. well. ok i can, but that's when i turn ugly. ANYWAYS...on this day evan was sleeping (hence the long explanation) and so we tried to let him rest by playing outside. after about an hour of riding bikes it was decided by their bright red faces and sweaty hair that it was time! swimming season has begun...well for them.

 my curious little payton. she loved dipping her hands in the water.

and then sucking the water off her hands. yucko i know. but when you've got four kids...two of which are boys and two are twins...you can't control everything that happens. i've learned to chill out a bit. maybe...hopefully. 

 and then there was more.

 and more! honestly...she's the cutest thing ever.

cardston had to join in on the fun too with a little bit of splashing

 which brings a smile to payton's face (most of the time)...she loves her brothers!

can't you tell!

Yay for spring...or if you're in texas, summer.

and hopefully (cross your fingers), yay to better work hours. we're ready to be on a normal schedule!!

Requested Videos.

Aunt Jum...these are for you (and anyone else that wants to watch 'em)! taken this morning actually.

pay pay sleepin' on the edge.

well...the girls finally discovered the stairs a few weeks ago. and man, they're all over the place! i can't keep up with the two of them. i think they thoroughly enjoy discovering every nook and cranny in our house. on this particular day, payton had gone without a morning nap and it was late in the afternoon. obviously she was exhausted, because she fell asleep at the very edge of the stairs. i went down to get cardston a drink...literally 2 minutes or less. i heard her whimpering (what she always does when she wants to go down). when i returned to her...i found this. EEK! pay pay passed out! i just about died. and just b/c i KNOW someone will think i'm an unfit mother...in my defense, evan was in the room with her. no worries.

THREE EACH

TEETH...that is. both girls have three. the exact same ones, of course...more of that weird twinness that just completely blows my mind. and you wouldn't even know that they are teething (as was the case with my boys)...at least they haven't been acting any different (counting my blessings...every single minute of the day). and i have yet to capture payton's pearly whites (she's not quite as willing to show them off)...so this will have to do.

i love girly accessories.

several years ago i bought this frame from hobby lobby (love that place) on clearance for like 7.99. when i came home with it, ev questioned my purchase. i told him it was for something...i just didn't know yet. but i had to take advantage of the deal!! you know those, right?? well i finally put it to good use. these things are flooding pinterest and blogs. i spray painted the frame brown b/c it matches their room. i considered doing a fun spunky color, but my crazy mind wouldn't let me. so brown it is. which is fine b/c all the clips give it plenty of color. i'm finding with two girls, i just don't have enough room for all the bows and such...even on that...i'm gonna have to start selling them. anyone interested???

and just b/c i'm so proud...i made over 3/4 of those. these girls are turning me into a craft-nut!

ONE YEAR STATS

yesterday these two went in for their wellness checkups with the lovely jennifer flippo (whom i just adore). i like her for several reasons: she's baby friendly; she's not afraid of screaming babies; she holds my children like they're her own; she calls them by their nicknames (pay pay and brookie); she talks to them; she is quick to recognize them and their needs; she goes out of her way to care for them; she LISTENS to my concerns; she talks to me like she's my girlfriend; she's not afraid to look me in the eye; and she speaks WITH me and not AT me in a language i can understand (i wish there were more like her). anyway...going to the doctor with two is difficult (but i've managed to figure it all out). take for example my experience: it started out just fine. i took both girls (fed and full) out of their carseats, placed them in the stroller, and buckled them in. just so you know...there is no way i could even do this without a stroller. how do you carry both girls...all their necessities...and try and carry a diaper bag...open doors and sign papers etc etc all the while smiling at everyone. nope. just not possible. i successfully pushed the stroller through the first door AND the second without getting caught (why they have to make it even harder on us moms...i have no idea? someone needs to do some better planning). i checked them in...i was very prepared with their new insurance cards and my drivers license and i was even 2 minutes early (very proud of that). the girls were calm and we waited to be called back. the wait wasn't long at all...very thankful for that. we were taken back by an older nurse...the girls hated her! which i completely understood...she was pretty cold to them. thus...the girls started freaking out and only wanted me. from then on...anyone and everyone made them start to cry (not just crying...their loudest screams ever). they cried through the whole checkup because they didn't want to be touched. they're very funny like that. girls. and then the mean nurse came back to do the shots and it was all down hill from there. three shots each. payton went first...i held brookie on my right hip while i leaned over to comfort and help hold down payton. after she was done, i quickly picked her up and placed her on my left hip while i put brooklynn down. once again same thing...and to top it off...me holding both screaming girls while they ask me to sign all these papers and some surveys. really people? do i look like i can sign my name with my toes or what? i guess i should practice. now THAT would be impressive. i finally calmed both girls down and placed them into the stroller so we could get out. payton had ripped off her three band aids before we even left the room to check out and blood was all over. as i patiently waited for the lady at the counter to stop goofing around...some mom made a comment like "oh they are mad, aren't they" which upset payton (my sensitive one) into full blown screaming. obviously lady. blah...blah...blah. another wellness checkup over with until april. can't wait. that's my story...although i'll have you know it was worse in real life...and i think i might have started sweating for the first time ever (something you might not have wanted to know...yes...it's true...i don't sweat...i just turn really RED in my face. weird huh). so all that...just for these silly numbers. next time i might schedule the appointment so evan can experience it all first hand. ha! love you babe.

payton olivia

19 lbs, 11 oz (25%-ile)

29 and 3/4 inches long (75%-ile)

head circumference: 17 and 3/4 inches (50%-ile)

brooklynn rae

20 lbs, 4 oz (34%-ile)

29 and 1/4 inches long (50%-ile)

head circumference: 18 inches (75%-ile)

my little lovelies

yesterday, it was almost 80 here (or maybe it reached that). it was lovely. i'm so ready for spring...and i think these girls are too...they love being outside.

happy birthday grills!!

 to the TWO cutest little grills around...happy birthday!!

WE LOVE YOU.

a year ago...

one year ago (to the day...jan 19), i posted this as my facebook status:

‎

35 weeks
dilated to a 4
having the babies on Friday (possibly before)!
Now, that's a complete shocker.

that was posted on a wednesday evening...and due to evan's school/test schedule and my doctors i had to lay in bed and keep the girls from coming until friday evening. and i'll have you all know that the girls were delivered at 6:53 and 6:54 pm FRIDAY EVENING. It was all in the LORD's hands. and now...here i am...preparing for the BIG day...their FIRST birthday. i can't believe how fast that year went!! the girls turn ONE on SATURDAY, JANUARY 21 (a day I will remember forever and always).

how many do you really see??

the girls played with themselves in the mirror this morning...

payton was a little shy while brooklynn completely made out with herself. very true to their personalities. 

all the while i was completely overwhelmed at the thought of having FOUR babies at once...well...not really, but it did cross my mind (and in case any of you wonder...evan and i *us crazies* DO consider having more chitlins. but...big BUT...all in due time, of course.)

what they do best these days...

pay-pay

 oh payton! you are so precious. look at those chubby cheeks (and that drool)...i like to nibble on  them...softly, of course. i love to hear your giggle...especially when i tickle right under your neck. and your eyes. there's just something about them. i'm drawn to them when I look at you...they're beautiful...and perfectly shaped like an almond. they are the windows to your soul. right now, you have strawberry blonde hair and your skin is fair...very fair. you really are just darling. for a while, you were attached to my hip...but I think you're growing out of it. i'm kind of sad about that because you're the only one of my babies that has preferred me over your dad. but i'll enjoy it while it lasts! we call you pay-pay. the boys even call you this...and it has stuck. i think it's so cute. we also call you "the payz"or the payster, which i love because it reminds me of my maiden name (payzant...hence the reason why i chose PAYTON over PEYTON). i have always loved the name payton (and brooklynn). in fact they were names i told my family...friends...and roommates that I wanted to name my daughters before i even met and married evan. lucky me...i had two girls at once...and was able to put BOTH names to good use! and even better...evan approved of them. i named the girls while they were in the womb based on their movements and behavior. baby a was payton and baby b was brooklynn. BUT i told evan that i wanted to see the girls before we officially decided. and so payton came out first...not even one peep came out of her mouth. evan asked me which one she was...baby a was still PAYTON for sure. baby b came out next...brooklynn. ev showed her to me...she was definitely a brooklynn...she screamed immediately and wouldn't stop! i had never heard screaming like that before. i thought..."so this is what it's like to have a girl...and boy, she's going to be a tough one (and that she is!)". 

payton is one of those babies that just goes with the flow (most of the time)...which has been a blessing with having to take care of two! she is a quiet observer and is quick to figure things out. she's a smart one! i love her cute little baby smell...baby breath...baby softness...baby talk...and baby look. while kansas grandma and grandpa were here at Thanksgiving, they kept commenting on how cute her profile is...and well i concur. she has the cutest little profile around. and i'm a little jealous of her beautiful, long eyelashes (look at them)! 

every single day.

this is how we start our every day. an 8 oz bottle of warm formula.

hello monday (you snuck up on us)! 

bouncing babies.

Just because THESE pictures make us laugh...I thought I would share. I know kansas grama and grampa will appreciate them. It's hilarious to watch them in the bouncers together...once one starts jumping...the other one jumps in and then they just compete to see who can jump the fastest.